


Chains

by rome_in_asia



Category: K-pop, The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eric is also a reaper, Homophobia, Hurt, Hyunjoon is a Grim reaper, Jaehyun is dead that's the plot, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Moving On, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 22:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16669801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rome_in_asia/pseuds/rome_in_asia
Summary: “What—you can see me?”“Mm.” The boy nodded, piercing eyes then focusing on Jaehyun. “Lee Jaehyun.”“What are you?” Jaehyun demanded, though there was no venom to his words. “What’s going on?”“You died. This is your funeral.”





	Chains

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the game The Grim and I

 

* * *

 

 

It was raining. The water droplets didn’t seem to be hitting Jaehyun, though, which was weird. He _should_ be getting wet. That’s the principle of rain. Jaehyun should also be feeling cold, but he wasn’t even shivering. He was just confused, _very_ confused.

 

He was in the cemetery, a good distance away from a crowd of mourners lowering a casket down to the ground. Instinctively, his feet led him there, finally seeing a few familiar faces in the crowd. No one was paying any attention to him, and Jaehyun began to think that maybe… maybe he was….

 

_Here lies Lee Jaehyun. May his spirit be free like the wind._

 

Jaehyun was dead. _Oh._ His mind was blank, still in shock at seeing the tombstone. The rain seemed to be pouring harder, but he was still dry, adding to the surreal feel of it all. Was he really dead? Was he just dreaming? What the fuck was going on, why can’t he remember dying?

 

Then he saw Juyeon.

 

 _Juyeon_. Jaehyun felt his chest ache when he saw his boyfriend fall to his knees, shaking. He wanted to tell Juyeon to get up, to not let the wet soil dirty the pressed pants he was wearing, but Jaehyun was rooted to the spot behind the tombstone. He wanted to cry, maybe he was crying already, his tears mixing with the heavy rain.

 

Jaehyun’s brother, Jooheon, had his lips in a thin line beside Juyeon. Jooheon was fighting his will to cry, Jaehyun knew. Jooheon was always an easy crier.

 

“Oh, so you can remember them.”

 

Jaehyun turned around almost immediately. There was a boy—not really, he was maybe Jaehyun’s height and a few years younger—standing beside him, peering at the crowd of mourners and the casket as well. The boy had a long, dark coat with the hood on, skin contrastingly pale to the blank fabric of the cloak.

 

“What—you can see me?”

 

“Mm.” The boy nodded, piercing eyes then focusing on Jaehyun. “Lee Jaehyun.”

 

“What are you?” Jaehyun demanded, though there was no venom to his words. “What’s going on?”

 

“You died. This is your funeral.”

 

Not all his questions were answered, and Jaehyun was having none of it. “What are you?” He repeated, more pressing this time. Juyeon was still on his knees, the crowd of mourners slowly dispersing, but Juyeon still held a single stem with a white rose in his tanned hands. Jooheon also stood with him, stoic-faced and determined not to cry.

 

“I’m a Grim Reaper. Angel of Death. Whatever you want to call the creature that brings you to the other side.” The boy walked to the other side of the burial mound, opposite Juyeon, then looked at Jaehyun. His eyes were cold and dark, making Jaehyun shiver. “I’m supposed to help you pass over to the other side.”

 

“What if…” Jaehyun couldn’t help but glance at Juyeon. He wanted to hold the younger in his arms, tell him everything will be alright. He couldn’t remember anything about his death, and it was bugging the fuck out of him. He _needed_ to know. It didn’t feel right. The pieces were too jumbled up. “What if I don’t want to cross over?”

 

“I mean, it’s your choice. I really am against not crossing over, though. It makes my job harder.” The reaper sighed. “I think we need to move elsewhere. The graveyard is hardly the place to sort matters of life and death out, don’t you think?”

 

It was as if the ground was moved from right under Jaehyun’s feet and the next thing he knew he was on his butt on the floor of his home studio. He slowly got up, giving the reaper, who was looking at him blankly, a glare. “You really couldn’t have warned me?”

 

“I did warn you.”

 

“No, you—“ Jaehyun paused, looking outside.  The sun was shining, streams of light streaming in from the glass wall on one side of the room. “It’s morning? Wasn’t it just sunset?”

 

“Time is a weird thing when you’re dead.” The reaper hummed, obviously starting to get impatient, if the incessant tapping of his foot was any indication. “I mean, it still goes in a linear way, but there are skips and overall, I don’t think you should really bother thinking about it. Now—“

 

The door to the studio opened and Jaehyun held his breath.

 

It was Juyeon.

 

Juyeon was in pajamas, the grey sweatpants Jaehyun so loved on him, and a thin, plain white shirt. Juyeon looked hesitant to enter, but he did anyway, running his fingers over the recording equipment Jaehyun used to use almost every day. He paused in front of the big chair Jaehyun used to nest on when he was brainstorming for lyrics, feeling the worn leather under his fingers.

 

“Jaehyun…” Juyeon trailed off, voice cracking. “I miss you.”

 

“You can’t talk to him. He can’t see you.” The reaper supplied. “Just so that’s clear.”

 

Jaehyun wanted to reach out to his boyfriend.

 

“You can’t touch him either.”

 

“Is there anything I can do at all?” Jaehyun groaned, frustrated. Juyeon sighed, looking around the studio one last time before heading out. Jaehyun turned to the reaper, who was still looking at him. “Anything? What’s happening?”

 

“Well… this is the room you died in, Lee Jaehyun.” The reaper explained.

 

“I… died here? How?”

 

The reaper hesitated. “You died here.”

 

“You’re not doing a very good job of unconfusing me, you know.”

 

“That’s not a word.”

 

“That’s not the point!” Jaehyun growled. The reaper remained unwavering, though. “Okay, fine! You’re not going to tell me how I died. Will you at least tell me what’s happening? Do you even have a name so I can stop calling you Black Hood in my mind?”

 

“…Hyunjoon.” The reaper said after a few moments. “My name is— _was_ Hyunjoon. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s happening right now is you processing your death. I would offer you my hand, so I could guide you to the other side, but… do you see the chains on your feet? On your arms?”

 

Jaehyun frowned. “Chains? What- _oh._ ”

 

His right ankle were bound with iron chains, and when he glanced at his arms, there were similar chains on his wrists. They weighed nothing, but they still felt uncomfortable, and that made Jaehyun wonder why he hadn’t noticed those before.

 

“I can’t take you to the other side unless those chains are gone. They represent your uncompleted goals, Jaehyun. You have to either let go of them or resolve them… of course, the longer you stay here in the mortal realm, the harder it will be for you to move and get rid of the chains… so…” Hyunjoon blinked, then narrowed his eyes. “Are you still listening to me?”

 

“I can’t… I can’t say goodbye to Juyeon?”

 

“That’s one of your chains.” Hyunjoon watched Jaehyun trying to shake the iron chain on his wrist off. “Look, that won’t come off by just shaking your hands. You’re a genius song-writer, can’t you at least use whatever braincells you have left that haven’t died off yet?”

 

“What if I don’t take them off? What if I won’t come with you? What if I want to stay here?”

 

Hyunjoon looked downright pissed at the thought, but his voice was still level. “Then you’re going to become a floating spirit. You’ll have nothing to look forward to. You’ll be trapped in this house, in this room, forever. You’re going to watch your boyfriend grow old, maybe with someone new, and die. You’re going to see this place being passed to a whole new generati---“

 

“Stop! STOP!”

 

“You were asking! I was only answering your questions!”

 

“Did you have to fucking put it that way?”

 

“There’s no other way. You can’t have any other way to say it lightly.” Hyunjoon at least sounded sorry. Jaehyun sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat. The reaper then sighed. “Your three chains… one of them is love. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Love is always one of the chains holding the soul back. The other chains though… Regret and Fear. Anything coming to mind? What are you so scared of?”

 

They were in a different room—Jaehyun and Juyeon’s bedroom, the one just across the studio—and Jaehyun saw Juyeon,  facing what used to be Jaehyun’s side of the bed. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he hand a hand on Jaehyun’s side of the bed, gently caressing the sheets as he used to caress Jaehyun.

 

“What are we doing in here?” Jaehyun demanded, a sharp edge to his tone.

 

“I don’t know. _You_ brought us here.” Hyunjoon answered, slowly padding out of the darkness. “I asked you what your fear is.”

 

“How can I fear the one person I truly loved?”

 

“Tell me how you met.”

 

Jaehyun gave the reaper a confused look, eyebrows raised. “What?”

 

“It might help. I don’t know.” the reaper purred, perching on an armchair. “Souls always felt the need to tell me everything that happened in their life. I’m actually quite surprised you’re not being as open as most. Not that I’m complaining. But maybe there’s a reason the other souls are always so chatty.”

 

“I met him in college.” Jaehyun swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to run his fingers through Juyeon’s hair. His hand passed right through. “We were both freshmen, on our first college party. We both thought we were straight, you know. A couple of drinks in, and we were making out behind the building. The internet was right: _spaghetti is only straight until it gets hot and wet_.”

 

“That’s a terrible euphemism. Go on.”

 

“It took a year of denial. I mean, I thought I was straight. Boobs. Vagina. Eighteen years of heterosexuality, then one drunken make out session with a Bro happened and I couldn’t get him out of my mind.” Jaehyun smiled at the memory, clenching his fists to prevent him from reaching out to cup Juyeon’s jaw. “Juyeon felt the same too. It was hard, trying to understand ourselves in a society that wasn’t accepting of relationships that aren’t men and women.”

 

Hyunjoon stayed silent.

 

“Speaking of, are you… male or female?” Jaehyun found himself asking.

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

Jaehyun glared at the reaper.

 

“I’m a _he_.” Hyunjoon relented, waving a hand. “Go on. Finish the story.”

 

“You’re getting too into it.”

 

“It’s helping you too, shut up.”

 

“Fine.” Jaehyun turned back to Juyeon, this time he couldn’t help but gently pat the younger’s head. Tried to, anyway. “We made it work. Most people still think we’re just bestfriends… even now. Jooheon-hyung knows, he always knows. Only a few people know. It’s… devastating. I wanted to take him out on dates with no pretense that we’re just bros. I wanted to kiss him in public.”

 

“You wanted to marry him.”

 

Hyunjoon had said it.

 

“But you couldn’t. Why not?”

 

“I was scared.” Jaehyun whispered, almost to himself. He wished Juyeon could hear him. “I was so scared of the judgment we were already receiving. Every hour of every day we were both being scrutinized. Why? It’s just love. It’s still love. I wish he knew that. I wish… Juyeon knows I love him, right?”

 

“I can’t answer that.” Hyunjoon replied, honest and blunt. “Only you can. Did you show him you loved him when you were still alive?”

 

“Not as much as I wished I had.” Jaehyun was crying, shoulders shaking. He wanted to hug Juyeon, to nest in the comforting warmth and musk of his boyfriend. “God, I wish. I was always so scared and he was always so, so patient with me. Living in a homophobic world… I… I left him alone. I failed him.”

 

Hyunjoon let him cry.

 

The pain Jaehyun was feeling was piercing, even to a reaper who has escorted countless souls to the afterlife. Centuries of doing so should have made Hyunjoon indifferent, but Jaehyun kept surprising him. So he let the soul weep. It was all that he could do.

 

“Jaehyun?” Juyeon mumbled, in a dream, unaware. “Jaehyun?”

 

“I’m here.” Jaehyun sobbed, sinking to his knees. “Juyeon-ah, I’m here. I’m so sorry, Juyeon-ah.”

 

 _He can’t hear you_. The words were at the tip of Hyunjoon’s tongue, but he held it in.

 

“Will I see him again in the afterlife? In the other side?” Jaehyun asked weakly. “Will I be able to hold him again? Will I be able… will we be together again?”

 

Hyunjoon wasn’t a liar. He prided himself in being honest. “I don’t know.”

 

Jaehyun wanted to snap at him, but the rational part of his brain understood that Hyunjoon was merely a guide of souls. “Have you ever been there? To the other side?” he found himself asking, taking in every detail he could of Juyeon’s face. If there was no assurance that he could be with or even see Juyeon in the afterlife, Jaehyun was determined to remember everything while he still can.

 

“No. I’m not allowed in.”

 

“What?”

 

Hyunjoon looked away from Jaehyun’s surprised eyes, rolling his sleeves up. Numerous chains, thin and rusting and overlapping, wrapped around the reaper’s arms. “I can’t pass to the other side. Not until I’m rid of my own chains.”

 

“What… why are there so many?”

 

“One for every soul I must accompany.” Hyunjoon answered softly, looking at the browning metal. “Reapers… we used to be human too. Very flawed humans. Killed by suicide. It’s the biggest sin, to kill one’s self. It’s the most blatant disrespect to the universe’s best gift. I don’t remember my life anymore, just my name and my duty.”

 

“I…” Jaehyun was at a loss for words. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault.” The reaper rolled the sleeves down again. “This is our punishment. We are forced to grieve, to bear witness to the lives of other people… to their chains. It should get easier as time goes by, but sometimes… sometimes a soul comes and makes us feel again. Thank you.”

 

“Is that soul me?”

 

“Don’t get too cheeky.”

 

Jaehyun laughed.

 

“You still have one chain left.” Hyunjoon pointed out. Jaehyun looked at his chains in surprise. The ones on his wrists are gone, along with some weight on his chest. “Congratulations, you know which of the three chains are now gone, don’t you?”

 

_Regret._

 

Jaehyun regretted not being able to love Juyeon longer, but there was nothing he could do. Life was like that, he supposed. Jaehyun regretted not living for the moment, for letting his fear take over him and steer not only him but also Juyeon, into a path of pain. It might have seemed like their only path, but reflecting upon it, Jaehyun knew no matter how painful the path they chose was, it was still so, so worth it.

 

 _Fear_.

 

He understood what his greatest fear was. It wasn’t being judged by people, no. He was used to that, and he already went through that, hand-in-hand with Juyeon even if they did it under the tables and in the dark. No, Jaehyun’s greatest fear was that Juyeon would forget him. That his boyfriend, his lover, would find a more beautiful person—a woman, even—and leave Jaehyun’s memory to dust.

 

Jaehyun realized he had no control over it either.

 

If it meant Juyeon would be happy… then…

 

“Where are we?” Jaehyun was suddenly not in the bedroom anymore. He looked around, confused. Juyeon was making coffee, looking like he just got out of the shower, but there were bags under his eyes. He looked tired, forlorn. Hyunjoon was standing by the window. “Why are we in the kitchen? Weren’t we just in the bedroom…?”

 

“It was time to go.” Hyunjoon answered, wryly looking outside. “Jaehyun… there’s another reaper outside.”

 

“What?”

 

“Someone else is about to die.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

Hyunjoon glared at him. “Can you not yell at me? I’m as confused as you are.”

 

Jaehyun felt his chest tighten. There was no other mortal in the house other than Juyeon. “Hyunjoon. Hyunjoon, is he coming for Juyeon?” the urgency and panic was undeniable in Jaehyun’s voice. “Hyunjoon! Answer me!”

 

“I don’t know!” the boy yelled back.

 

The front door opened and Jaehyun saw Jooheon walk in with a bag of groceries. Juyeon greeted him with a curt nod, offering coffee. “It’s been a week, how are you holding up?” Jooheon asked, both of the living sitting at the table. “I still couldn’t bring myself to look at his room, you know?”

 

“I know.” Juyeon ran a hand through his damp hair. “It’s so… difficult. It was all so sudden… and… I don’t even know what happened. He was perfectly healthy, hyung. What could have happened? Are the post mortem results back?”

 

“About that…”

 

“Hyung?”

 

Jooheon slowly let out a breath. “They found poison, Juyeon.”

 

“I—what?”

 

Jaehyun was shell-shocked. He turned to Hyunjoon, who was agitatedly shifting from one foot to the other. “Wait, if the other reaper is already here before anyone’s dead… that means you know how I died, Hyunjoon. Did you… did you see it? Do you know how I died?”

 

“Yes.” Hyunjoon met his glare with defiance. “I always see how they die.”

 

“How—“

 

“You poisoned him.” Juyeon suddenly shouted, standing up. He pointed an accusing finger at Jooheon, who was holding his coffee tightly. “You… you poisoned your own brother? For what? For fucking what, you asshole? What did Jaehyun ever do to you?”

 

Jooheon smashed the coffee cup, narrowly missing Jaehyun himself, though he supposed he wouldn’t be hit anyway. He advanced in on Juyeon, eyes dark.

 

“Because he was _vermin_ , Juyeon. So are you.”

 

Jaehyun’s breath caught in his throat, watching as Jooheon unsheathed a large knife from the counter as he walked towards a shocked Juyeon. “Hyunjoon, I need to do something!” Jaehyun cried out. “Please! What can I do?”

 

“Interfere.” Hyunjoon sounded weak. “I’m not supposed to encourage this, but… go. Focus and maybe you can interfere. I’ll delay the reaper outside. I hope Eric’s in a good mood.”

 

“Interfere? What the fuck does that mean?”

 

But the reaper was already gone, leaving Jaehyun to grapple with his thoughts alone. He had to act, _fast_. He felt so betrayed that Jooheon, his own brother, who had accepted him with open arms when he came out, called him a vermin. Why? Was Jooheon simply keeping up a front?

 

“Hyung, why?” Juyeon asked, almost pleading.

 

“I have to do this, Juyeon.” Jooheon explained, calmly. Like a psychopath. “The love you shared wasn’t right. You do not deserve to be here. I’ve been waiting patiently, you know. It was difficult to pretend to be happy for both your sins. It’s… it’s disgusting.”

 

Jaehyun finally spotted something he could use to help. Juyeon had forgotten to turn off their stove ( _jesus Christ you idiot_ ). Gas was leaking and staining the odorless air into the smell of butane.

 

They couldn’t hear him, of course, but Jaehyun still yelled “Get away from him!” and jammed a fork into a nearby socket. Jaehyun fully relied on the fact that he was dead and that he couldn’t die twice, so when the electric spark suddenly blew up the kitchen, Jaehyun ran through the thick smoke and flames to find Juyeon.

 

Juyeon had been thankfully blasted away, unharmed, but still in the burning house.

 

Jooheon was nowhere to be seen.

 

Jaehyun needed to get to Juyeon. He needed to wake him up or something, get him to safety and away from the flames, but the remaining chain on his ankle suddenly was dragging him down. It was getting heavy, so heavy he could barely move. Hyunjoon was then beside him, blinking wildly at the destruction.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“I need to get to him!”

 

“Eric left… he has… he took your brother’s soul.” Hyunjoon held a hand out. “Take my hand, Jaehyun. We have to go.”

 

“No! I can’t leave Juyeon here! He’s going to die!”

 

“There aren’t any reapers here! Come on, he is going to survive—oh, no.” Hyunjoon finally looked down. “Your chain… it’s bigger. Jaehyun, listen to me. You have to let go now. This is what’s holding you back. You have to let Juyeon be.”

 

“I can’t!”

 

The chain on his ankle was getting heavier.

 

“Jaehyun.” Hyunjoon held both of his shoulders. His hands were cold, but they were firm. “You have to let go.”

 

Juyeon.

 

_“Someday, I’ll marry you. You’ll walk down the aisle and Jooheon-hyung would give you away. It would be so cool.” Juyeon whispered, tracing Jaehyun’s jaw with a finger. “We’d have the church decorated in lilies and violets. It would just be us. Just a tiny wedding, just us.”_

_“Why do we even need to? You’re here. That’s all I need and want.” Jaehyun pouted._

_“If that’s what you want, then.” Juyeon smiled, that smile that made his eyes turn into crescents, wrinkling at the corners, lips pink and quirking up. “You’re all I need and want too, Jaehyun.”_

“Jaehyun, you have to let go.” Hyunjoon repeated. “Please, we have to go now!”

 

“Can I say goodbye to him?” Jaehyun whispered. “Just one last time?”

 

The flames were still going on, but Jaehyun trusted Hyunjoon when he said there were no reapers left. That meant Juyeon would still survive. The chain on his ankle was starting to lighten up again, enough for him to drag himself to Juyeon, who was still unconscious.

 

Maybe it was because Juyeon was having a near-death experience, but Jaehyun was able to hold him again.

 

“Juyeon, _jagi_ , you have to wake up.”

 

“Jaehyun…” Juyeon mumbled, eyes fluttering open. “Jaehyun—“

 

“I love you, Juyeon-ah.” Jaehyun sobbed, wiping the tears falling from Juyeon’s eyes. “Remember that, okay? Always remember that. You’re the only person I have and will ever love, even if I’m not here with you anymore physically. Always keep me in your heart? Please?”

 

“Jaehyun, I –“

 

“Go.” Jaehyun pulled him up. “You have to leave the house. Be happy. Continue on living. For both of us.”

 

He had to help Juyeon out, the younger being too weak and Jaehyun being free without the chains anymore. Jaehyun laid him down on the steps of their home, Juyeon fading in and out of consciousness. “Jaehyun,” Juyeon whispered, a tight grip on his hand. “I love you too. Thank you for being such a big part of my life.”

 

Sirens were wailing closer and closer.

 

Jaehyun had almost no time left.

 

“Don’t forget me, Juyeon-ah.”

 

“Never.”

 

Jaehyun waited until he was fully unconscious, pressing one last kiss on Juyeon’s forehead before standing up and facing Hyunjoon.

 

“Are you okay?” Hyunjoon asked, hand stretched out.

 

“No.” Jaehyun breathed out, taking his hand. “But he will be.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Bonus:_

 

Juyeon watched the sunset from his balcony. It was peaceful, the way the sun casted orange and red on the city. He rolled his wheelchair closer to the railings, smiling. “Jaehyun-ah… are you tired of waiting of me? It's been years... I’m almost there, don’t worry.”

 

He stayed there, watching the sun dip down and disappear.

 

And Hyunjoon did too. He watched, from behind Juyeon’s wheelchair, with a small smile.

 

“Yes, he’s always been waiting for you, Juyeon… and now, maybe you’ll meet again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I hope you all cried as much as I did while writing this! I also hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Thank you for reading! Have a nice day <3 Remember to stay strong and hydrated!
> 
> twitter: [@.juyeonieee]


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